Why I Stopped Writing
I am not well, neither in mind or spirit. This stems from as far back as shortly after my arrest in October 1988. Originally I was charged with two crimes. I was guilty. I was told that additional charges would be filed, so at my court hearing I walked into court and filed a plea of guilty – no 'deal'. Neither the judge nor District Attorney knew what I was going to do. Nobody just walks into court and pleads guilty, facing 15 or 25 years to life. Everyone freaked! A break was ordered during which the Judge was advised not to accept my guilty plea and to permit the DA to file 'special circumstances charges'. This changed my possible sentence to Life Without Parole or Death by execution. I didn't know how this was allowed to happen.
I never believed I would be alive in prison after 10-15 years, let alone 20 to 25 years. After October 2013 I started to mentally and spiritually break. Twenty-five years of confinement had become an all too painful reality. I had been a mere 22 years old at the time of my arrest; now I was 47, facing 50. Every year that followed became more difficult as older people I cared about inside and outside of prison died or various relationships changed. The more I lost hope the less self-worth I felt. As I became more 'needy' for friendships, the more I withdrew from everyone.
In March I turned 51 years old. In July I was rehoused into the psychiatric ward and have now been confined for 31 years. The psych. ward staff are trying various doses and kinds of medications. I am still a major wreck but I have become more stable and gained self-worth. I do value the few people who are still with me, inside and outside of prison.
I hope this might help other prisoners who aren't able to write too often and those who may not be receiving letters back. Don’t stop writing us! Your letters may bring our only source of light and love. Your letters may be our life jacket.
Kurt Michaels, California
Please note: all prisoners' work is copyrighted. If you wish to copy any work, please ask by contacting us.
In a Death Row prisoner‘s own words:
“Julian is the most wonderful person I have ever had as a penfriend and I am really grateful that you brought us together. He is trying to teach me your English cricket – what a bewildering game it is!”
“Julian is the most wonderful person I have ever had as a penfriend and I am really grateful that you brought us together. He is trying to teach me your English cricket – what a bewildering game it is!”
Human Writes Patrons
"The very essence of the death penalty is to tell people that they are somehow sub-human, not fit to live. Yet even those people I have represented who did what they were accused of - a surprisingly limited number - have always been much better people than their worst fifteen minutes, as are we all. Those who recognise this by reaching out to the men and women on death row are true heroes, though I suspect they gain as much as they give to the relationship."
Clive Stafford Smith OBE, Founder of Reprieve and Patron, Human Writes
"As a journalist who has lived and worked in the United States, the horror of death row is one of the issues that never leaves you. The thread of humanity that Human Writes manages to sustain with men and women on death row is a profound contribution to keep alive the hope of life. Capital punishment is now on the retreat in America, but the numbers awaiting their fate are still very considerable. I am very honoured to have become a Patron of Human Writes and will hope to do my best to put my shoulder to the wheel".
Jon Snow Broadcaster and journalist, Patron, Human Writes
"I know what it is like to live in a cell for decades and feel that the whole world hates you. I never expected to be able to live again as a contributing member of a community. Prison life was precarious and unpredictable but I met people who worked there who wanted to help me and people like me - and I'm lucky that I live in a society graceful enough to offer me a second chance. At least I had hope. Hope for many of the people supported by Human Writes has all but been extinguished. Letters to people on Death Row let them know that however low they may have fallen, they are still human beings. They still have value and are worth caring about and letters might just help to keep hope alive. That is why I am honoured to have been invited to be a patron."
Erwin James 1957 - 2024, author and Guardian columnist, Patron, Human Writes
Prisoner Art and Writing
"The volunteers of Human Writes seek to hold out the hand of friendship to men and women facing the death penalty. I am pleased to encourage them in their writing"
Most Reverend and Rt Hon George L Carey, former Archbishop of Canterbury
"No matter its circumstances, dying is one of the most important things we ever do. I applaud all who offer compassion and hope to those facing death, especially in the terrible circumstances of Death Row. May God bless your work."
His Eminence Cardinal Vincent Nichols, Archbishop of Westminster