Dealing With Differences

It is difficult enough just being a kid and trying to grow up in this turbulent world, but then falling prey to prejudices of one kind or another and the hateful criticism by others who believe themselves superior and/or better than those who are different can be extremely detrimental to a child, leaving deep-rooted scars for life. Experiencing such hate-filled criticism myself as a child, I felt absolutely powerless to such abuse. But then, putting insult to injury, such vulnerabilities were literally exploited by the very individuals who a child should be able to rely on to protect them from abuse such as parents, teachers and others in power instead of them turning a blind eye and deaf ear. Those who are targeted for such abuse because of one kind of prejudice or another can range from a magnitude of different reasons by those who speciously believe themselves to be better than others such as simply not being white enough or perhaps not slim enough, not born in the right country or perhaps they do not practise the right religion or simply do not satisfy a kaleidoscope of other standards that these purportedly superior individuals judge others by. Falling prey to such abuse myself as a child by those who felt themselves better than me because of what they saw as weaknesses and/or handicaps pretty much affords me first-hand knowledge on such issues.

Having a severe stuttering problem and having large protruding buck teeth as a child, I fell prey to a litany of scorn and ridicule at school, home and elsewhere - being teased and called Porky Pig and/or Bucky Beaver. Some of the gravest ridicule and disdain came at home from my two dearly beloved inebriated parents who, when they were not beating the hell out of each other in their drunken rage, turned on me. Their drunken hate-filled diatribe still resonates with me to this day when they were screaming, telling me that if you can't ---- talk right then shut the ---- up, and keep those freaking Bucky Beaver teeth in your mouth. All of that goddamn stuttering and buck teeth sticking out of your mouth embarrasses the hell out of us when company is here. So just shut the ---- up! If these mandates were not scrupulously complied with then they were reinforced with physical punishment. Obviously subjecting a child to such abuse is bound to cause enormous resentment, hate and despair resulting in substantial detrimental consequences in their lives, as it did mine. Getting a grip on such hate and fury was not an easy thing to do. However, the catalysis for change ultimately came after recognising that I was actually seeing myself through the hate-filled disparaging eyes of those who subjected me to such abuse for a protracted number of years. This revelation came to bear from reading what another individual had to say about such plights of suffering that he had endured throughout his life because of the dire prejudices of others. He reached out to help others who were suffering, as he had throughout his life, from abuses reaped by the hatemongers who so speciously believed themselves to be better than those who they find to be different than themselves. Choosing courage over being craven to such egregious abuses and putting himself in harm's way to reach out and help others who were suffering the dire plights of prejudice brought about enormous change. The sociologist, Professor Du Bois Fortitude's forbearance and temerity forged fertile ground for change to germinate and brought to bear in turn that those who have suffered the most have the most to give back in helping others. Professor Du Bois [1903-1995] who was the first African American to receive a PH.D from Harvard University, penned the following words: It is a peculiar sensation this looking at one's self through the eyes of others, of measuring one's soul by the tape of a world that looks on a person with amused contempt and pity. This insight by Professor Du Bois helped me to actually recognise that my internal perception of myself was actually the main culprit fuelling the internal rage and fury about myself from the earliest memories as a child. His insightfulness was the result of his enormous suffering because of others' prejudice. However, he utilised such ignorance and hate for gaining wisdom from such and not allowing his despair, fury and rage to be used negatively. He had experienced those who held him in contempt and disdain, which he readily agreed had a tremendously damaging effect on a person's sense of identity and self-worth. It is hard to stand tall and feel good about oneself when others are distorting a person's self-worth by their hate-filled disparaging criticism and yet doing as Professor Du Bois showed by example that a person can actually gain by weathering the storms of prejudice and hate. His actions and sedulous courage were exemplary in doing just that and through his suffering of such scorn and ridicule in his life indubitably brought to bear that those who have suffered the most have the most to give back. That cannot be reiterated enough in demonstrating gratitude for others who have suffered and continue to help others in turn.

Wesley Purkey, Federal