If You Love Them Enough
People always ask me about my life experiences and what they have taught me. I don’t mind sharing what I’ve learned. Prison is a hard place and you need to know who to trust, how to care for others and how to live life to the fullest even when forced to live in the most dire of all circumstances.
When I really get down, lose track of my path and depression begins to set in, I take out my small photo album and remove very carefully a folded piece of paper, one of my precious treasures. It is a small love letter from my granddaughter Ashton, received a few years after I had been sent to Death Row. The note is in a young schoolgirl’s scrawl and all that’s missing is a drawing of a heart around the words. But this small letter was written by a child; a child I had raised for the first six years of her life.
It is a beautiful receipt for how to show love. Ashton’s descriptions of our relationship begin thus: “Loved Me”, “Took Care of Me”, “Helped me when I was ill”. The next line, perhaps written while thinking of me with a smile “Always hugged me close”, “Forgave me a lot”, “Stood by my side” and then a piece of good advice for everyone who looks on giving constructive criticism as a kind of sacred duty: “Always praised my accomplishments”, “Read to me”, “Told me a bedtime story every night.” “Made sure I had everything I needed.”
On the other side of the paper she added “Showed me only warmth, humour, kindness and thoughtfulness”. Then she writes about her grandpa she had lived with and loved her entire life “Always there when I needed you.”
The last words she wrote realty sum up all the others as she thoughtfully added “Wonderful teacher” and ”Great Pappa”. Who could ask for a better thought from a granddaughter.
As I sit here now in solitary confinement for the sixteenth year, I cannot even pretend to explain to you the terrible pain of being forgotten by someone you care about so much.
For those who now stand beside me it is important that they know how it feels - the emptiness and loneliness when you lose someone you love so deeply. And, it helps me to talk about it.
“John” I was asked “How do you still care about her when she’s all but forgotten about you?”. I don’t know if I can bear to stand by while those I love forget about me”.
“You can” I say quietly “If you love them enough, you can!”
John Robinson, Kansas
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In a Death Row prisoner‘s own words:
“I thanked God this morning for the lovely People in my life and for the overflowing gift of love that is in my heart for you and my penfriends. It‘s a very far step from the heart of ill emotions that I used to have years ago.”
“I thanked God this morning for the lovely People in my life and for the overflowing gift of love that is in my heart for you and my penfriends. It‘s a very far step from the heart of ill emotions that I used to have years ago.”
Human Writes Patrons
"The very essence of the death penalty is to tell people that they are somehow sub-human, not fit to live. Yet even those people I have represented who did what they were accused of - a surprisingly limited number - have always been much better people than their worst fifteen minutes, as are we all. Those who recognise this by reaching out to the men and women on death row are true heroes, though I suspect they gain as much as they give to the relationship."
Clive Stafford Smith OBE, Founder of Reprieve and Patron, Human Writes
"As a journalist who has lived and worked in the United States, the horror of death row is one of the issues that never leaves you. The thread of humanity that Human Writes manages to sustain with men and women on death row is a profound contribution to keep alive the hope of life. Capital punishment is now on the retreat in America, but the numbers awaiting their fate are still very considerable. I am very honoured to have become a Patron of Human Writes and will hope to do my best to put my shoulder to the wheel".
Jon Snow Broadcaster and journalist, Patron, Human Writes
"I know what it is like to live in a cell for decades and feel that the whole world hates you. I never expected to be able to live again as a contributing member of a community. Prison life was precarious and unpredictable but I met people who worked there who wanted to help me and people like me - and I'm lucky that I live in a society graceful enough to offer me a second chance. At least I had hope. Hope for many of the people supported by Human Writes has all but been extinguished. Letters to people on Death Row let them know that however low they may have fallen, they are still human beings. They still have value and are worth caring about and letters might just help to keep hope alive. That is why I am honoured to have been invited to be a patron."
Erwin James 1957 - 2024, author and Guardian columnist, Patron, Human Writes
Prisoner Art and Writing
"The volunteers of Human Writes seek to hold out the hand of friendship to men and women facing the death penalty. I am pleased to encourage them in their writing"
Most Reverend and Rt Hon George L Carey, former Archbishop of Canterbury
"No matter its circumstances, dying is one of the most important things we ever do. I applaud all who offer compassion and hope to those facing death, especially in the terrible circumstances of Death Row. May God bless your work."
His Eminence Cardinal Vincent Nichols, Archbishop of Westminster